Non-Juggalo’s Guide To The Gathering Of The Juggalos

I know there are a lot of curious nonjuggalos out there who are intrigued by The Gathering.  I’m here to tell you that it is a MUST for you to attend.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I was once a Juggalo back in high school, so I have a bit of a leg up on those who steer clear of  “The Dark Carnival.”  Don’t worry, though, because I’m here to help you out, should you venture out to Hatchet Landings.

I know many of you non-juggalos out there can be rather disgusted by the Juggalos and may be a bit scared or hesitant to be around so many of them.  Honestly, you have nothing to worry about.  Despite their appearances, Juggalos are actually quite nice and if you’ve got any sort of street smarts, you’ll return from The Gathering unharmed and absolutely thrilled that you attended.

I’ve been to some music festivals and NONE compare to The Gathering.  Most music festivals are filled with boring hippies and pretentious, douchey hipsters.  Sure, there’s drugs and partying at these festivals, but they can’t compare to the creative and juvenile shennanigans of the Juggalos.

If you’re really serious about going, here’s some shit that I think you should know:

  • Obviously, food is important, so bring A LOT of shit that won’t spoil quickly.  There are plenty of stands at The Gathering, but like any other festival, you’ll be paying out the dick for garbage carnival food.
  • If you’re bringing beer, bring more than you’ll ever think you can drink.  You WILL be awake early, because the sun will have woken you up and you’ll be surprised that you’ve become quite the alcoholic, because you’ll be cracking those fucks open minutes after waking up.  There’s plenty of shit to do during the day and you’ll definitely want beer with you at all times.  There’s a Wal-Mart and a few liquor stores about an hour away from the grounds, so you’ll want to stock up for the entire weekend before entering, because if you have a parking pass for your campsite, you can’t drive out and there probably won’t be any alcohol left at those places a day or two into The Gathering.
  • DON’T arrive before The Gathering starts.  If you do, you’ll be sitting in that fucking sun on a mile-long line, waiting to get in.  Plan to arrive towards the middle of the first day and you can just cruise right in.  You’ll be able to find a nice campsite.
  • If they haven’t all been taken, try to find a spot in the shade, which can be actually quite difficult, because there aren’t very many fucking trees.   In any case, bring something that will provide shade for a lot of motherfuckers, since you’ll most likely be entertaining some Juggalo guests.  It is also important that you don’t get a spot near the main stage, seeing as it will be loud as shit for most of the day and night, it’s fucking filthy there and that’s where the hardcore Juggalos decide to camp.  Plus there’s always a million motherfuckers walking around there all fucking day.
  • Lock your valuable shit in the car.  Pretty much, leave all of your shit locked in the car.  Although the Juggalos are generally cool, they’re people and some people are scumtwats who steal shit.  We all know this.
  • Be prepared to get Faygo on you.  The Juggalos throw that shit around all day and it’s bound to get all over your shit.  So, this means that you should bring more clothes than you think you might need.  Bring extra shoes, too.
  • I assume that non-juggalos attending The Gathering are not there for the music, but when you attend a performance and you don’t want to be in the Faygo mud pit near the front of the stage, don’t worry, there’s plenty of room in the back and to the sides, so you can sit back and enjoy the show that is the audience.  The Juggalos, to me, are the real performers.
  • Showers are a must, because you’ll be sweating like a fucking animal all day and night.  The sun is fucking brutal and your tent becomes a fucking sauna as soon as the sun comes up.  I suggest you go to the showers bright and early, before the Juggalos wake up and you’ll be waitingfor an hour to get in.  Another great time to go is when the main performers are on stage, because all of the Juggalos are watching that.   By the way, I suggest not using the little shower trucks that they’ve got scattered around the main area of The Gathering, because they’re small, gross and there’s always a fucking line.  Use the showers in the building at the top of the hill near the big pig(You’ll know what this means if you attend.)  Those showers are operated by the people who own the camp grounds and they’re maintained pretty well.  They’re also located at the top of an exhausting hill, which many Juggalos do not want to climb.  It’s a bit of a hike, but it’s well worth the trip.  Bring flip-flops for the shower!!!  Also, leave anything of value locked in the car before going to the showers, because there’s only a bench to put all your shit on.  And prepare yourself for the sight of gigantic, naked Juggalos!  A towel is optional, because the sun is so fucking hot, that you’ll be completely dry by the time you get to the campsite.
  • Drugs.  The Gathering is fucking lawless, so they’re everywhere.  There’s even a place called “The Drug Bridge,” because it’s a bridge where drugs are sold.  Clever.  If you did not bring any drugs, ask a Ninja where this bridge is located and he’ll gladly point you in it’s direction.  If you plan on bringing any, be very careful with it, because the cops are just itching to arrest Juggalos.  I don’t do them, so all I can suggest to you is that you hide them well and don’t do anything fucking stupid to invite the cops.  You should also be able to handle your drugs, because The Gathering’s a fucked up place to be when you’re having a bad trip or some such shit.
  • As with being in any unfamiliar place, you should always be aware, because there are some fucking weirdos there and there are always projectiles coming from every direction.
  • You should listen to some of the Psychopathic Records music and learn some of the Juggalo lingo.  To avoid trouble, you should know the proper responses to some of the Juggalo-specific phrases.  If someone says “woop woop” to you, say it back.  A popular term for a fellow Juggalo is “Ninja.”  It’s actually quite fun to get in the spirit of things and say, “What up, Ninja?” For the most part, a lot of the Juggalos are tolerant of non-juggalos and respect our choices to not be one of them.  Just be respectful.  That’s not to say that you can’t be a smart-ass dick.  I don’t know what it is, but sarcasm seems to be completely lost on a lot of the people in the Midwest.

In summation, just be a human and immerse yourself in The Dark Carnival and it will payoff with the greatest vacation you’ve ever had.  Don’t be a complete fucking asshole and set out to offend, because Juggalos aren’t that stupid and if instigated, can be violent.  If you’re nice, they’ll give you a big dose of Clown Love.  Hopefully, my nonsense will help any non-juggalo with balls enough to attend the greatest party of the year.

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~ by brian on February 6, 2010.

42 Responses to “Non-Juggalo’s Guide To The Gathering Of The Juggalos”

  1. These are true words, probably even good for Juggalos who have never been there

  2. BADASS

  3. if u are not a juggalo stay the fuck away from our party

  4. Nope. Get over it.

  5. non juggalos shouldn’t attend you fucking juffalos you can be a juggalo and then stop that means your a poser mother fuckoo so FTFO
    and stop helping the juffalo bitches you assholes above suck my balls

  6. i mean’t cant be a juggalo

  7. It means that Psychopathic began to put out shit that I didn’t like, so I stopped liking it. What’s so hard about understanding that? Get over it.

  8. The Gathering is for JUGGALOS!!!!! GO START YOUR OWN FUCKING PARTY YOU DIRTY HIPPIES!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE!!!!!!!!!

  9. Dirty hippies? I’m no hippie, I’m a fly nigga and I’ll bet I’m much more clean than you. It’s music, so get over it.

  10. agreed The Gathering of the Juggalos is, and only should be attended by JUGGALOS/lettes. last year gotj 2009, there were 20,000 in attendance. it was way too packed. real juggalos missed out on carni rides, seminars, and concerts because of crowds. thats complete bull shit. if you aint a juggalo why go to the gathering of the “juggalos”

  11. How do you know that the numbers went up because of non-juggalos? It’s not their fault that the organizers didn’t prepare for the amount of people who showed up. By the way, non-juggalos wouldn’t attend the seminars. By the way, there was PLENTY of room at the concerts. There always is. The Gathering is fun and pretty much the only genuinely awesome annual music festival, whether or not you’re a Juggalo. I don’t want to go to shit like Bonnaroo or Coachella, so the Gathering is perfect for me and that goes for a lot of non-juggalos like me. Also, people may go into the gathering as non-juggalos and end up Juggalos by the end. What’s wrong with that, so long as the non-juggalos don’t attend with the intent to be pieces of shit?

  12. The reoson he siad is cause you can tell who is fam there and who isn’t. the reason it was over packed is cause until last year they had around 8 – 9 thousand people and 20 thousand went pass there expectations. People come to be around people just like them and who share some bond rather it be for music or way they grew up. People who would come and not fully get the meaning of the gathering of the juggalos would disrupt the balance there. wouldn’t surprise me if some of the real juggalos started getting rough with people that are only there for the party.

  13. Hey, im a juggalo for a good ten years now, and this coming up gathering will be my third. Granted, last year was very obnoxious with attendance, but i didnt mind it. In fact, i love that you, as a non juggalo, came to our party and had a good time. Juggalos wonder why we are so hated and look down upon, its because of fucks like the ones posted above that give us a bad rep. Thanks for helping to show the world that we are not as evil and scary as the media shows. I hope to see you in a couple weeks ninja, should be a crazy couple days.

  14. Good call Sarah. To go to the Gathering as a non-Juggalo is EXTREME AS FUCK!! To know that at any second you could get beat down by a crazy ass muthafacko!! That’s like the fuckin cattle walkin straight into the slaughterhouse!! MMFWCL Y’all!!

    p.s. Sarah hit me up at the rope swing for some fun down by the water!! 9:00am Fri. HAHA JEAHHH!! Gimme the line “Am I wet enough yet?” And I’ll know it’s you! 🙂

  15. First of all good info… Second of all.. We be family.. That’s what its all about! Being a lo/ette is about who you are not what your are! So if ya’ll are attending have fun! Be down!
    MMFWCL!
    Whoop Whoop! See U there!

  16. juggalo to none juggalo… lots of good points dude, woop woop.
    come drink a brew with me next year, ill be by the bomb tent lol, hopefully get some shade this time

  17. This is the shit. An unbiased, honest breakdown of the gathering by someone who isn’t a juggalo. And to the cats that get their shit all twisted over some non-fam comin in just to have a good time, chill the fuck out. Like homeboy said, be respectful, keep your shit together and you’ll see a side of the juggalos that you will never hear or read about anywhere. You’ll see true family interaction.

  18. in a family underground twiztid urgers non juggalos to come and enjoy the gotj quit hatin.
    WHOOP WHOOP MMFWCL

  19. urges*

  20. Hey!! The Gathering (and just the Fam all together) is about not judging people and all that shit. So chill with it. Non Juggalos ARE welcome to the Gathering as long as they ain’t HATERS. And he don’t much seem like one, so get off his case. MCL to all my true homies.
    ~Wicked Lette Cj~

  21. great article. I am not a jugalette however I do like music and freak shows so it has crossed my mind to attend this festival. Now when I get the balls to go I will know what to do to keep them!

  22. I have to say as a non-juggalo this has really opend my eyes to this whole juggalo way of life. and as of now I am downloading some twizted and Icp i kinda just wanna emerge myself in it. Also any real Juggalos Keep it strong and FUCK THE POLICE!

  23. I have to say as a non-juggalo this has really opend my eyes to this whole juggalo way of life. and as of now I am downloading some twizted and Icp i kinda just wanna emerge myself in it. Also any real Juggalos Keep it strong and F%&K THE POLICE! My home boys been down since the 8th grade maybe now im just startin to see his ways Hopefully ill get lost in it for days and days to come out and see all the people around me just like me i didnt even know a family right under my nose.

  24. Alll of you who have said that non-juggalos should stay away should remember one thing…REAL Juggalos are agains bigots, haters of non-juggalos is a form of bigotry

  25. fuck yeah… ‘cept a few comments in the beggining, this post has been awesome to read thru. i love that family feeling at the gathering and reading about a non… fuck that… “former” juggalo who felt that too, makes me happy as fuck. i cant wait to be back. last year i wore No juggalo apparel just to see what i would be treated like… i found the same thing: FAMILY LOVE. we do like a mutha facko to know their shit tho. brush up on some chants and choruses and avoid those awkward moments when youre high as hell and everyone else seems to know the response to the infamous juggalo question “whos goin chicken huntin?”… and you dont.

    otherwise… good times, good people, good drugs. so go and have a good time. whoop whoop!

  26. fuck that if u aint fam u can come check us out cause the number one rule about being in the fam is welcoming new members if u aint one come join the army cause the gathering is where its at. lets party like its 1985.

  27. thank’s for the info… i plan to go this year (2011). I love a lot of the music that ICP, twiztid, psychopathic rydas, and more put out. But isn’t it strange that the juggalos chant “family” all the time, and bitch about hating, yet many of them will hate on anyone who either won’t call themselves a juggalo, or isn’t as dedicated as they are. it’s sad…i have so much respect for fans who liked them from the start, but why hate on anyone else for anything? it’s just fucking pathetic.

  28. I saw a nice Twiztid interview where they called them out on their hypocrisy…need a new chant, “distant cousin, distant cousin, distant cousin”.

    And of course there are juggalos who aren’t the way that was described above, but the hypocrites have ruined the image for me…so i will never call myself a juggalo…i am not a hypocrite and will not be grouped with hypocrites.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRNQCrRnpX8 Twiztid speaking the truth.

    family my ass.

  29. its not just music, its a life style. muthafucko you dont know what the fuuuuuuuuuuck your talking about.

  30. The people that like this music and behave like this are fucking retards. I listen to almost everything but this music and the people it brings are both white trash and worthless. Sorry I don’t sugarcoat it for you fucks. Get your shit together or kill yourselves. Best wishes.

  31. I don’t care whether or not you sugarcoat anything, because a stranger’s opinion of me has no bearing on anything I do with my life. Go listen to what you want and act how you want. No one gives a shit.

  32. So…i like you all. What if i wanna be a Juggalo–actually ‘ette’ for me. And what do you think of an old Juggalo? Like Uum, 54 years old? Can i join? I’ll be yo Mumah…

  33. like i have read more then one time from icp themselfs the most down mothafacku they ever met never bought one cd or never went to a show and he was down for life just cuz the way you dress or act doesnt mean you aint a real ass ninja down for your fam no matter what fam it is if you can not give a fuck what anyone thinks and stop hating fam then your down ask any real juggalo not the juffahos

  34. Nicely spoken .what up to all my ninjasout there
    whoop whoop

  35. Ah the gathering is almost here. Taxpayers funding cops to watch out for errant acts of stupidity. I’ll just sit back and watch the arrest toll grow rapidly, and avoid that event like the plague.

  36. And no one will care about your opinion for yet another year. You will continue to be ignored and brushed off by everyone you know and love, because they can no longer handle your self-righteous opinions about things that don’t matter.

  37. you know its weird that I’ve been listening to ICP since i was like two but didn’t even know what the gathering was until my sophomore year in high school. it just makes me sad

  38. You should make it there one day. It’s a hell of a lot of fun.

  39. the gotj is an escape and juggalos and lettes are the best ppl to be around. i been there 3 times and the worst part about it is leaving and having to wait another year to see my family again. if you ever felt different from all the rest and wanted to be around thousands of ppl just like you…this is the place to be. whoop whoop

  40. o and as far as non juggalos…like hommie said, be kool and respect the fact that ,if your not a juggalo, your surrounded by them and they, im sry we, are dam proud to be who we are and got no problem settin a cocky hater straight.. mmfwcl

  41. Wow as a Juggalo for fifteen years some of the comments in this thread are quite fucking ridiculous. One expressing that if you’re not a Juggalo you can’t attent which is a crock of shit, because the Gathering is for anyone who’s open minded and or a fan. You don’t even have to consider yourself a Juggalo. There are no guidelines. The second comment being, “You can tell who’s Fam and who isn’t” is B.S. because everyone who attends the Gathering is family to me so quit treating being a Juggalo like its a fashion statement. Funny thing is, I had many non-Juggalos more than Juggalos come to my RV and chill with me and i’ll ask them how long they’ve been down and they’ll say “Well I don’t consider myself a Juggalo but for years.” and I can respect that. If that’s how you feel in your heart and your soul.

    To non-Juggalos who’re fans of the music, don’t hesitate to come and enjoy and have fun with me and my fam. The more, the merrier I say. To ones who claim they’re fam and are gonna be judgmental don’t come.

  42. Continuing –

    My lette and me are attending this year as we have the last six years, and anyone’s welcome to come to our RV and hang. Just don’t bring in no drama, because we’re there to have fun not to cause riots. (You crazy ninjas know who you are) lol See you Ninjas there. MMFWCL Whoop whoop

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