I Love Snooki…Getting Knocked The Fuck Out!

Where do I start?  There are so many satisfying, hilarious and spiritual things about this.

  1. THE DUDE.  He is SUCH a fuckin’ goon. Look at that blank, down syndrome look on his face. He’s fucking salami personified.  That face tells you there is absolutely NOTHING going on in that brain of his.  I’ve been that drunk before and the delight I derive from that facial expression rivals a good nut after a few days of not busting.
  2. THE PUNCH. I’m a dude and I’ve seen hundreds of fights and sucker punches before, but none, I mean, NONE have been this perfect.  Perfect speed matched with perfect placement on the perfect recipient makes for one of the most savagely entertaining gifts reality television has and I predict, WILL EVER, be gracious enough to give us.  Christmas has definitely come early for me.
  3. THE TARGETING.  The dude is no longer thinking, he’s running on pure instinct.  His goal?  I’m not sure, but maybe it’s jail time and a LIFETIME of embarrassment for he and his family.  Like a fucking Lion or some such fucking predator-type shit, he scans his surroundings for the perfect prey and, like a gift from God, there’s Snooki in the perfect position for the most perfect of punches.  The blank stare is removed and replaced with rage.  He is not fuckin’ playin’ and I’ve never been more happy.
  4. THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE.  If you haven’t noticed, Salami Sammy’s punch lands on, not one, but TWO FACES.  What have I done to deserve this, God?  This guy just goes to show you that when shit goes down, don’t be a fuckin’ hero, just watch, get the fuck outta the way and let that clear, sticky substance just leak from the head of your wee wee.
  5. THE HAT. Where’d the fuck it go?  Almost as soon as fist meets face, BOOP, it’s fucking gone!  This man is the new Criss Angel.(Criss Angel is a faggot for the spelling of his first name.)

I was gonna ask for a nice, new Chinese Checkers set for Christmas, but I’m asking all nerds out there to please, PLEASE develop the technology to reproduce this .gif image on a t-shirt with a slow motion function.  Thank you Salami Sammy from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you.

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~ by brian on December 18, 2009.

3 Responses to “I Love Snooki…Getting Knocked The Fuck Out!”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Love or Hate Bot, Brian Hamill. Brian Hamill said: I Love Snooki…Getting Knocked The Fuck Out!: http://wp.me/po52f-6u […]

  2. GREAT POST!
    Hilarious! We have some good tidbits on it at the TV Social Network as well…Would love to have you join us and we can also share the blog!
    http://www.TVFanSpace.com

  3. The best part is that he is a NYC gym teacher (the puncher). Everything is perfect about this clip… everything.

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